Atunida

Amanda took in the sight before her, not that it was a new one but it was a respite from the white and different shades of blue that characterized the pediatric ward and the smell of drugs she had so gotten used to the past few years. As she stared out the window, she still remembered with surprising accuracy the events that led her to this point.

It was four years ago, and she had a picture perfect life, loving husband and a healthy four year old son, they had been trying for another baby as soon as Poju her son had clocked two, all to no avail.

“Patience, baby” her husband often told her when she got agitated about her inability to conceive a second time, “don’t you believe that everything works for our good?” Then he’d give her ‘that’ look, tickle her till she laughed away her worries and held her like the baby he always called her. She remembered her husband Dotun, theirs had been the perfect love story, though they had weathered bad times in their marriage together, they had now gotten to that point where everything was near perfect. After six years of marriage, a healthy energetic son and a very healthy bank account, they couldn’t be more grateful to God. Then it happened and her life changed forever.

They were returning from church on a sunny Sunday afternoon, she and Dotun had had an argument as he drove down the double lane road that led staright to their home, she thought Poju wasn’t doing well in school and he needed to change schools, Dotun said to give him time, ‘he’s only a child and changing schools isn’t the best for kids.’ She was adamant. He refused to have an argument with her but focused on the road instead, she sulked, and huffed and puffed. It was all a blur. The screech, Poju’s screams, the car swerving, trying to escape the reckless bus driver, she barely had enough time to look up, before she heard a loud crash, then darkness.

She woke up to shouts, ‘egba mi oo’, ‘call a doctor’, ‘ni tori olorun!’ ‘See blood o, chai!’ ‘Dey don die?’ She tried to raise her head, she was lying on the road, obviously someone had pulled her out of the car she now saw was a wreck, she tried to raise up her head so she could search for her husband and her son, all she could see was blood then her vision became blurry, she felt a terrible headache come on, then she passed out again.

Amanda smiled as she turned away from the window and put down the curtain, since that incident four years ago, her life had changed, Dotun died on the spot, she survived, so did the bus driver, Poju had lived but had been in the hospital for the past four years.

After the accident, funeral arrangements were made for Dotun, his elder sister had handled that, she couldn’t hold food down in her stomach for weeks after the accident talk less of handling burial arrangements. Words of encouragement from well meaning people poured in, but all fell on deaf ears. All she asked was ‘why?’ Dotun was gone and Poju was in the hospital with a damaged brain which left her little angel in a permanent vegetative state.

She had spent everything, every single penny her late husband had left behind on hospital bills which were enormous. Family members helped too, but they withdrew their support gradually, she couldn’t blame them, everyone had their troubles to face. Every day for the past four years, Amanda had prayed, other times she had fasted, sowed seeds, gone for healing services on behalf of her son. Nothing worked.

She willed Poju to live, that was the only hope she clung to in this dark dreary dungeon she had to pass through.

But today was the day everything would change and the flicker of light that gave her hope would be extinguished. Today, Poju was going off life support, she had been unable to continue paying the bills six months ago, the doctors told her to give up. She begged for three more months, she knew God would do something, wasn’t he the one that parted the red sea and rose up Lazarus after three days of being dead? No, Poju wasn’t going to die. But six months had passed, nothing happened. The hospital had been patient enough, all she had was one more night with her son and the machines would go off.

She cried that night...all the pent up feelings of the past four years overwhelmed her and the tears poured out like a dam that had just been opened. She was afraid, all she had lived for after Dotun passed on was getting her son back, but he wasn’t coming back. How would she move on? Amanda cried herself to sleep, she drifted off with her head on Poju’s stomach.

That night she had a dream, she was alone in a boat, sailing to an unknown destination, it was night and the darkness around her was thick, she could pierce it with a knife...then the storm came, a terrible wind blew and rocked the boat, the waves from the sea threatened to make the boat capsize, Amanda was terrified. ‘This is the end’ she said repeatedly as tears ran down her face. She looked up and saw a figure dressed in white afar off, she thought it was a ghost. He seemed to be walking on the water, moving towards her, she covered her face with both hands and screamed.

But the figure spoke up, “It is I, don’t be afraid”. She recognized the voice, ‘Jesus?’ she squeaked. She was too terrified to say anything else.

He came into the boat the moment she said his name. The waves stopped.

She woke up.

It was morning already. She refused to raise her head from her Childs stomach, this was the end.

Then she heard ‘mummy?’.

...because I still believe in miracles

xoxo

John 6:18-21

18 A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. 19 When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified. 20 But he said to them, "It is I; don't be afraid."  21 Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.

NIV