"The best way to make a wound heal is to expose it eventually"
No matter how long a wound is covered with bandages or plasters, for total healing to take place, it has to be exposed at some point.
I would say that our fears and flaws can be likened to wounds or injuries that are inflicted on us just because we are humans. Nobody asked to be born with a particular flaw or did you ask to be born with a quick temper? Did you decide during your stay in the womb that you were going to struggle with low self esteem? However, I will not deny that there are some bad habits we justify as character flaws, but that is not the point of this post. This post addresses hidden flaws and fears that we do not even realise we have until certain situations reveal to us what we are capable of.
I am personally grateful for unexpected 'situations' that expose what I'm capable of doing (good or bad).
Of course, finding out hidden strengths make me happy, but finding out my hidden fears and flaws/weaknesses make me disappointed in myself but more importantly, make me realise that I am human after all and in need of help.
I have come to understand that the point in our lives when our flaws and fears are being exposed is not the time to cry, get frustrated or give up and say things like:
"I guess this is how I am"
"I don't think I can change, I am too set in my ways"
It is also not the time to build up walls around ourselves and shut people out because 'we don't want to hurt them'. I believe it is time to face these issues head on and become better people.
At the beginning of this year God told me that I would have to face my fears and subsequently work on my flaws. I did not fully grasp the meaning because it seemed like I did not have any major flaw or fear. I was in for a surprise. Three months into the year I was reminded again. In May, I was reminded again: "this is that year that you face your fears over come them' and indeed my hidden fears have been exposed to me.
My biggest fear is that I'm not good enough (cliche as that sounds, that's just the truth). Not good enough to be successful and to make a difference. Not good enough to be a successful writer; which is why I have decided to take this blog seriously this year. I decided at the beginning of this year that I would keep writing till I am very confident about it. Even though it's 'not good enough', I am good enough and that's what counts. I am good enough to be the best and be all that God has purposed me to be.
This year, more than any other year, I have had my flaws/weaknesses exposed. The statement that 'you never know what you're really capable of doing until you're faced with a particular situation' is totally true. There were certain things I did this year (not good things o) that I never for the life of me believed I was capable of doing. Certain character flaws that I honestly never knew I had were brought to the fore front by what I call 'divinely-instituted' situations. For the most part of this year, I was just always SURPRISED AT MYSELF! There were times I was filled with so much shame that I would just bow my head and sink to my knees. There were times I did things that were low and tacky and I would have never ever in the ever of evers believed I was capable of such things. Slowly, I started withdrawing to myself, I was on the verge of becoming a recluse because it seemed as if there was this other evil person inside me that would just come out when certain things happen. I felt like the incredible hulk, lol this isn't funny oo, though writing this now makes me laugh.
I had to come to terms with the fact that I still have a lot of work to do on myself; fears to overcome and flaws to work on with the help of God.
Recently, I have come to truly understand that the word of God is like a mirror, that shows us who we really are without the Grace of God but beyond that, it shows us who we become when we accept the unconditional grace (help) and love Jesus offers.The more we study Gods word, the more we realize how fallen this human nature is and how trusting in the flesh (our knowledge, skills and experiences) is the surest and fastest way to get frustrated as a Christian.
Let me drop my favortie bible verse to end this post...some think that verse is for 'baby' Christians..but oh well, what can I say? Where sin abounds grace abounds MUCH MORE
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
New International Version (NIV)
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
P.S.
Thank you for being there for me, you are a gift to me. Being with you has taught me a lot of things about myself and made me a better person. Yes, you..you know who you are. :)
Another P.S.!
I should have titled this post 'The road to perfection' but I remembered that we are already made perfect in Christ Jesus...so there's no road to anything again. I just have to stay in Christ and enjoy his finished work.
Sorry for the P.S.es,
Love you all
xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment