The Call...1

I could see the weather change, then the sound of rain, large pellets from a distance, coming at an alarming speed towards where I stood, but even the threat of the heavy downpour could not stop me, I just had to get to that cliff before dusk. I was determined, stubbornness was what people called it, to some it was even foolishness, but I knew what I wanted and I would wait for it, no matter what happened. So I decided to make it to that green hill before the heavens opened and let down the heavy downpour. I took off and at this point, a light drizzle had started and I could see the tiny drops of water on my arms, one particular drop landed on my eyelashes, I smiled and blinked , this made it trickle down my cheek like a lone tear. The irony of it all was that I knew I would still shed tears, this I knew for sure so why bother wiping off this preliminary mock-tear. My smile afterwards was bittersweet.

At this point, I had gotten to my destination, there was nothing really spectacular about this place, I mean, it was just a meadow, green and lush with splashes of colour here and there. My self-acclaimed spot was the high rise, I could sit on it and see the sunset, the whole orange horizon. But today, there would be no sunset because of the heavy down pour.

And just before you conclude; no, I actually do not love sunsets, not like I hate them, but to me, a sunset is just…a sunset, nothing spectacular, but it was important I watched the sunset every single day, it was my life..it was what kept me sane, or so I thought.

Watching the sunset gave me memories; the sweet and good ones, not the heart-breaking terror-filled ones. Also, I knew from the books my Papa had given me to read that the sun shines on every corner of the earth, at least that much I knew, the sun was everywhere, the same sun that sets every evening, would also set on everyone I had loved and lost to time and space, no matter where they were. My best friend was miles away, I miss our chatter and the happy times we spent together, such sweet memories I hid in the corners of my mind, never to let anyone steal them away from me. So whenever sit beneath the sun, I had this peace within me that this golden glob of light that I could see would also be seen by her, and maybe, just maybe, when she sees it also, she would think of me.

It wasn’t just my best friend I thought of as I sat under this heavy downpour today, waiting for an invincible sun to set, I also thought about the people that I had loved and lost. I always wondered if they ever thought of me, not that I had issues with letting go, but the trend was upsetting. I always lost when it came to the game of love. I was always the loser, always on the defensive, always with the shield never with the spear.

Something drew my heart and my soul to this meadow every single day. Form the recess of my soul, I would verbally write all my innermost and deepest thoughts on the sun. I could pour out an avalanche of emotions by just gazing at the sun; I would pour them out and imprint them on the surface of the sun. If you could see beyond the physical, you would see my heart, barred for the world to see on the sun.

My clothes are wet and clingy but I don’t care, all I want to do is to stare into space and pour out my heart till its empty at least for the day. Tomorrow would present another opportunity to pour out my heart on the sun again.

Why bother? I ask myself, this sun setting ritual is of no use. But who else would listen to my tales of woe? There goes my answer.

But something greater drew me to the sun and watching it set; I knew that this particular globe of golden light would still set on my knight; I don’t need a shinning amour. All I need is my knight to rescue me from this place I’m in because I can’t help myself out. If my knight existed, he would see the pieces of my heart on the sun, he would read the letters I wrote there verbally from the depths of my soul, he would understand. I know he would, because only he had the keys to unlock the dark dungeon called my heart.

I was shivering already, my teeth couldn’t stop chattering, so I stood, gathered my drab dress around me and moved on, more like returned back to my life, the only life that I had ever known. My home was a dingy room with bare essentials….

By the way, my name is Nnse, and I am a trader...my stock in trade? My body. I really don’t care if you judge me; really I don’t because that’s the only life I know. I’ll wait for my knight, I know he will come, I know he will, I won’t settle for a mere soldier, I’d rather die waiting. My knight would come with the messages of my heart from the sun, until then…

 

To be continued here